


Ginny’s Diary – Facing Her Worst Fear

by IrisCalasse



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Diary/Journal, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisCalasse/pseuds/IrisCalasse
Summary: Ginny writes some observations in her diary.
Kudos: 1





	Ginny’s Diary – Facing Her Worst Fear

**Author's Note:**

> This was imported from my blog at https://elvenbunnywrites.wordpress.com/. It was originally written in 2012 as a contest entry for the Hogwarts Extreme RPG (www.hexrpg.com) Diary Entry Writing Contest.

Dear Diary,

There, I’ve done it. Written the words I most fear.

You won’t believe how long it took me, not unless I could let you into my memory… and I’ve had quite enough of that. So I’ll just tell you, and you’ll have to believe me.

Three years, that’s how long. It would probably have taken longer except Hermione gave me you for Christmas (and if I got a journal I’m betting Ron and Harry got organizers or planners or something). She says that facing one’s fears is what a true Gryffindor would do. (That makes me even more sure that Ron is getting a homework planner – his worst fear is doing his homework, if his procrastination is any indication… I notice Hermione has never let herself fail an exam though, no question about facing that particular fear at all, she even ran away from the boggart in Lupin’s final and I heard it was just McGonagall saying her marks were off, which is kind of ironic considering that she’d have gotten a better grade if she had stood her ground… So much for facing _her_ fears. But at least, in my case, I think she was right.)

If I tried to name you, you won’t tell me your name’s Tom, right?

I’m not going to name you. I think, from now on, I’ll make sure that my diary is nothing but an impartial record of my thoughts. Other people’s are their confidants, their friends, and once mine was too but I only thought it but a book is a book, it’s just paper and ink, it can’t talk and _can’t_ _(SHOULDN’T EVER!) talk back!_

Um. Ahem.

Oh yes, an introduction. My name is Ginny Weasley, I’m the only girl in a family of boys, and I’m currently in my fourth year at Hogwarts. I don’t really have a best friend yet because people in my year still think I’m weird for unleashing the Basilisk from the Chamber of Secrets because some people are dorks and they’re either freaked out or just too in awe that I can hang out with “the Harry Potter” because his best friend is my brother, not that it matters because I can still hardly string two words together in front of him, and everyone knows he fancies Cho Chang. (Or maybe only Hermione knows, it’s her special Granger sense tingling, but she told me she thought it was obvious.) I’ve liked Harry since before first year, but he’s never noticed me. Well, he’s not the only guy in the world, and ever since the Yule Ball last year guys have been asking me out… I’m seeing Michael Corner, from Ravenclaw, now. He’s nice and he kisses well.

Let’s see… today:

We tried making Patronuses for the first time. You might be surprised that I’m learning it at school because the Patronus Charm is well beyond OWL, but I’m not learning it at school really. Well only sort of. This year we have a rubbish Defense teacher and she’s teaching us _absolutely nothing_ , so a few months back a bunch of us formed a sort of club where we learn and practice different defensive spells and Harry is our teacher. He’s known how to do the Patronus Charm properly since he was thirteen, which is amazing; Mum made us (Ron and me, and Fred and George, who are older than Ron and much cooler but just as sneaky) promise not to tell, but of course we had to when the topic came up in the club.

Anyway, the Patronus Charm is supposed to be hard to do. Actually, it’s really simple, just concentrate on a happy thought and say “Expecto Patronum”, but what makes it hard is that you have to be happy even when something really scary is coming at you. Of course when we practiced there was nothing scary and Hermione got it nearly at once, but that’s Hermione for you, and it’s not like Harry wouldn’t have given her private tuition over winter break if she asked for it — sometimes it annoys me how she completely doesn’t notice that Harry would do nearly anything for her, she’s all like “he doesn’t like me, he’s always liked Cho Chang and he’s so obvious about it” and “oh he’ll notice you, you’re a great girl, you just have to learn to be yourself in front of him and the best way to do that is to date other people”, but I _swear_ if I was her I’d never have wasted a second and I’d have been with Harry a long time ago. Especially since I stayed at the same house with Harry all break and Hermione only came later but we’re not supposed to talk about that.

Back to the Patronus Charm: I still haven’t _quite_ managed it, but I did make silver mist after two tries, and Harry says it just means I need to concentrate more. I’m going to practice, and by next meeting I’ll manage a corporeal Patronus, just wait and see!

Signing off,

Ginny

* * *

Dear Diary,

Michael and I were supposed to have a date, but he had a cold and wanted to stay in bed. (All he needs is a bit of Pepper-up Potion! I think he’s just making up excuses — well, we won’t be together very long if he keeps this up!) So, I got the twins to show me how to get to the Muggle village “near” Hogsmeade. Apparently “near” meant that Fred and George could walk there in an hour, or fly there in five minutes, and they wouldn’t give me directions but insisted on coming with me, but what the heck, I didn’t have anything else to do anyway.

So off we went after George pulled our brooms out from under his sweater — he’s gotten really good at Concealment and Conjuration, I should probably warn Mum for the next time she tries to look for Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes (or maybe I won’t: the twins’ stuff work great and Dad likes them, it’s only Mum being uptight). The village wasn’t very big, it’s not like London or anything, but at least it wasn’t Hogwarts and it wasn’t Hogsmeade either. Fred hurried off, I think he’s sweet on some girl there (Dad is going to LOVE having a Muggle for a daughter-in-law). George stuck around like my bodyguard, but that’s okay. George knows how to be quiet.

Anyway, while we were walking, I heard this song playing on the radio. I’m not entirely sure of the lyrics, but it was something like:

_Funny that you’re calling me tonight_  
_Yes I dream of you too…_  
_Does he know you’re talking to me?_  
_Will it start a fight?…_  
  
_My boy’s in the next room_  
_Sometimes I wish he was you_  
_I guess I never really moved on_  
  
_It’s really good to hear your voice_  
_Say my name, it sounds so sweet_  
_Coming from the lips of an angel…._  
_And I know I have to say goodbye_  
_But boy you make it hard to be faithful_  
_With the lips of an angel_

As if it wasn’t enough that Michael’s acting fishy! Now I’m hearing songs that are just… Yeah, I know, it’s hopeless, right? Harry’s even going out with Cho Chang now. But the song’s right, every time I hear him calling me…

I’m being silly. I mean, it’s been five years, but I just can’t completely move on. It’s hard not to compare others to him, when he’s always around; not that they can really compare. Harry isn’t just “The Boy Who Lived”, to me; of course he was that, everyone’s idol, at first, but then he _saved my life in the Chamber of Secrets_ and he’s never, ever, blamed me for it. He’s always been so nice, so… just like anyone else, except _more_ , you know what I mean? Even if this year… well, he’s changed a bit. Become more serious, more emotional, but even if Hermione thinks it’s a silly “saving-people thing” I think that’s good. What’s wrong with being heroic?

Signing off,

Ginny

* * *

Dear Diary,  
Right so it’s another entry after this morning, haha. I forgot to say: I met Luna Lovegood at the girls’ toilet on the fourth floor this morning. She was walking backward, skipping on one foot every third tile. When I asked her what was up she said her pet Gulping Plimpy had died and she had flushed him down the toilet, but on the way out of the cubicle she had been attacked by a Flibbertigibbet (I think that’s what she said) and she was trying to counteract its poison so that she wouldn’t speak in haikus for the next week.

Every time I see her, I hardly know how to react, and it isn’t just because of the odd things she wears (today she had a mushroom bracelet on). Should I say I was sorry her pet Plimpy died? She didn’t seem too torn up about it, and the thing is, for as long as I’ve known Luna — since I started Divination in third year — she’s been remarkably (okay, she’s ALWAYS remarkable one way or another, but I mean more remarkable than usual) accepting of death. I’ve heard that her mother is dead, but she doesn’t talk about it much and she seems to be happy… I can’t see how. Dad was in a terrible accident before Christmas, he got mauled by a giant snake and we thought he’d die except Harry saved him. I was terrified he’d die. I’m sure if he had, I’d go completely to pieces…

So instead I asked her what a Flibbertigibbet was. She told me at length about it (although most of it was terms and names I couldn’t understand). Then she asked me if I would I show her how to do a reverse pass? That, I could talk about, so I agreed, and we had a nice chat. I don’t understand why people avoid Luna. Sure she dresses a bit odd, and she says strange things sometimes, but it’s really quite funny and she’s real smart. She’s also a lot more sensitive than many people I know, including a certain guy from her house with initials M.C., and two guys from my house with initials R.W. and H.P.!

After a while Luna saw Neville and she drifted towards him (she does that sometimes) so I went on my way, after hexing Peeves, who was singing “Lovegood and Longbottom sitting on a tree”. I wonder if there is anything going on between those two. They met last year at the Yule Ball, but I don’t think Neville took to Luna much and he sure didn’t act eager to see her during DA meetings. They’ve been talking to each other more often now, though. Luna can be quite charming in her way. Neville had better watch it — if Luna’s got her eye on him, he won’t stand a chance!

I’ll have to see how this develops; it seems rather more hopeful than my own love life at the moment… there’s a DA meeting soon or I miss my guess, Harry hasn’t scheduled any Quidditch practices for next week…

Signing off,

Ginny

* * *

Dear Diary,

Guess what: Fred and George have left school.

And I don’t mean they graduated. I mean they blew up about a million fireworks, turned the school hallways into a swamp, ripped their brooms off the dungeon wall, side-swiped _that woman_ , and flew out into the Blue.

Oh right – you don’t know… well, That Woman has totally tried to take over Hogwarts. She tried to throw out Trelawney, which made Dumbledore hire a new teacher (Firenze, he’s a _centaur_!). She banned all clubs and automatically dissolved all existing ones (NOT that she’s stopping our anti-Her meetings). The bad thing is she even banned House Quidditch Teams, and she disapproved the re-application of Gryffindor (she approved Slytherin). So Fred and George were in a complete snit.

I guess they decided enough was enough, so… well, the twins are masters of mischief and mayhem even when they’re being good, and here they were deliberately setting out to be wicked. They got Peeves as their assistant and I’ve never seen that poltergeist happier.

I can’t list everything they did, but… well… it was chaos, utterly GLORIOUS. I think my favourite was when this Catherine wheel sort of mated with some multiplying rockets and they kind of gave birth to winged pigs, it was insane. The best part is, none of the teachers care! I think they hate That Woman as much as the students do. I saw McGonagall deliberately ignoring Peeves when Peeves was throwing chalk at Her, Flitwick was CLAPPING at the fireworks, and if my eyes weren’t completely fuzzing over I could swear that Sprout was pouring Bubotuber pus into one of the swamps, making it even bigger and slimier. Snape was practically the only one missing, but I THINK I saw one of Her cardigans burning under his cauldron this morning at Potions… I think… (but really, can anything else be so pink?)

Everyone thinks the Weasleys are cool now. I mean the twins always had their fans because of Quidditch, but Ron’s been so lacklustre that Draco Malfoy and cronies have been having an easy time making fun of my family (read: Ronald Bilius). But now our level has risen, like, way too high for our pedestals to be mucked by The Amazing Bouncing Ferret. Fred and George are everyone’s heroes!

The students are ready to follow their footsteps too. We are just full up with That Woman and we’re not about to sit around any longer. There are a lot of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes left (practically everyone’s bought at least a Basic Blaze box, and those with extra gold went for multiples of the Deflagration Deluxe of the Wildfire Whizbangs — and that’s not counting how many packs of Ton-Tongue Toffee, Fever Fudge, Puking Pastilles and Nosebleed Nougats the twins have managed to sell. (The Canary Creams too but those aren’t Anti- _Her_ pranks.) Want to bet nobody will be attending Defense classes for the next three weeks?

My brothers, the retail kings, on top of being pranking legends. Bow.

Signing off,

Ginny

* * *

Dear Diary,

Oh  _cripes_ , we had a scare today. Somebody snitched on us! They told our Defense “professor” where the club was meeting, and

Sorry I began an entry earlier and then stopped. It seems as if a year has passed since I started writing that…

To be honest I’m not entirely in my best state right now, but I need to sort out my thoughts. It’s been a really long two days.

When I started writing last time, I was in the common room, but I was interrupted when somebody (I can’t remember who, now) burst in saying they’d (the Inquisitorial Squad, our professor’s stooges) caught Hermione and Neville outside the Common Room, and like a nut I rushed out to rescue them. Hermione’s great at spells, but her reflexes aren’t good, and Neville, well, is Neville. (I’m hoping it was the house-elves who put my diary back in my dorm. They wouldn’t have read it. But so far, nobody’s tried to blackmail me, so all is well on that front, it seems.)

To be fair I did manage to hit Goyle, or maybe it was Crabbe, I could never really differentiate between them. But I was outnumbered and eventually I was hauled to _that woman_ ’s office. She showed us THAT TRAITOR, Marietta Edgecombe (who, until now, has “SNEAK” written in boils across her face, nice hexing Hermione!), and began questioning us, even after Marietta denied knowing about anything (which was odd, but maybe she didn’t want any additional boils?). Hermione put up some fake drama show and made _that woman_ take her and Harry out of the room, and while the Inquisitorial Squad was distracted we (Ron, Neville, Luna – did I mention Luna was with us? – and I) hexed them out of commission and made our escape. After a while we heard screaming from the Forbidden Forest and _she_ ran out shaking like a sheet.

We thought things were over, until we met up with Harry and he announced that Sirius Black (his godfather) had been captured by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and that he was going to rescue him, except he had no idea how. Well, Luna had a plan, but there was no way any of us were letting him go alone, so in the end all six of us (me, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville and Luna) rode on the school thestrals — it is very odd, you know, riding something you can’t see — and we went to the Ministry of Magic, where, Harry said, Sirius was being held.

Well, things went horribly wrong. Sirius wasn’t there at all – it was a trap by the Death Eaters, and we had to fight them off. Neville actually tried to fight off BELLATRIX LESTRANGE. If you’ve read anything about her… she’s absolutely horrible, but she’s a brilliant duellist… a terrifying woman. But Neville was so angry… did you know she had tortured his parents into insanity? We always wondered why he’d been raised by his grandma, but we never knew about his parents until last Christmas. No wonder Neville’s so messed up. I thought he’d spent practically all his bravery just continuing to move forward, but apparently there’s a lot left in him… He tried to defend Luna too you know. She broke her leg… and Ron got trapped by this vat of brains. Dumb prat, we weren’t even fighting the Death Eaters then… but at least he’s okay (just a bit scarred). We thought Hermione was going to die, she got slashed up really badly. Apparently Harry actually fought with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And Sirius died… Harry’s really torn up about it.

Oh… and I fainted, so all of this is just hearsay, except the last part. I wish I could help Harry, but now, I think, it’s actually Luna who can probably say the best thing to him. As usual, I am reduced to watching him.

Signing off,

Ginny


End file.
